as I walk

the journey to becoming me

saying yes

You know what I love? This is probably the most unfair question I’ll ask. I love a multitude of things and many people. As a person who claims to follow
Christ, I should probably have my previous statement reversed (love many things and a multitude of people), but as an honest jerk, I’ll leave the sentence as
is. The answer could be roller derby, bacon, banana bread, playing with my nieces, drinking Arbor Mist with my sister, cuddling with Kelly, taking walks
with friends, coffee, craft beers, plaid, Converse, finding a dollar in my pocket… the answers really are limitless. So, I guess you’re right no matter
how you answer – unless you said waking up at 3am, then you’d be wrong.
Let me try this another way, I love the Bible. I love the history. I love the poetry. I love the stories. I love the questions it sparks, even those
without answers. I love that it’s alive and can be interpreted multiple ways. I love digging in and finding the cultural significance. I love that it can
have meaning when taken at face value and it has unfathomable depth when I try to go just beyond the surface. I love its mercy. I love its call for social
justice. I love to wrestle with those hard passages that seem to contradict a loving God. I love it.
When I was a little kid, probably around 5 years old, I had a Precious Moments coloring book. I don’t remember any other picture in it other than one of the
little boy figurine holding a Bible up above his head in a suit. It sparked something inside of me. I got up from the floor where I had been lying on my
belly coloring his suit blue and brought it to my mom. I told her I wanted to be a pastor. She told me I couldn’t because I was a girl.
In my teens I had mentioned to the youth leader that I wanted to be in ministry. He said that I didn’t have a great singing voice, so I’d probably be able
to teach Sunday school to little kids when I grew up or could be a pastor’s wife. I left my faith for several years not long after that.
I was in my twenties very active in a church. I was going to a small group and was always excited to dig a little deeper. I loved to read commentaries and
the Strong’s Strongest Concordance. When it came time that group had a new leader, I volunteered, but was told I couldn’t because I was a single girl.
Instead, a young married couple new to the church and fairly new to Christianity took over.
Now, I’m in my thirties. When Kelly and I started getting close, we were talking about my room-mates marriage. I said how I admired them and their
communication. I then drew parallels between them and us. Both Verity and Kelly are lawyers, to which Kelly responded “But I could never marry a pastor”.
I remember asking if she was sure about that. Now, we’re engaged and I’m very seriously finding out what I need to do to go to seminary. I’m not going to
let being a chick, or being gay, or being broke stop me. I’m tired of listening to the no’s. I’m saying yes.


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3 thoughts on “saying yes

  1. I KNOW that YOU would make a WONDEROUS pastor! I am THRILLED for you about seminary and allll of thisss!!!! I know that your incredible mind, unstoppable work ethic and alll that you have been through contributes to your non-judgmental, well-rounded view of people and the world! You would be a highly approachable and sensitive pastor! GO YOU!

  2. Anonymous on said:

    I’m fully able to admit that I was wrong. I could marry a pastor! I’m so excited to support you on this amazing journey.

  3. kristin v on said:

    I want to stand up on a chair and applaud you! You can do it!!! I am so excited for you! 🙂

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