as I walk

the journey to becoming me

If only this would actually send

Dear Marissa,

Hey, so I know you feel trapped and like you’re so broken that you’ll never be able to be fixed.  I just want to warn you from making some really stupid choices… choices that will make the fixing harder and delayed.

  • Just because someone hurt and screwed you up… doesn’t give you the right to do the same to others
  • For that matter… to further screw yourself up.
  • Safety pins are for broken zippers (and I’m sure other things) NOT for stabbing yourself.
  • Don’t drink because of depression, anger, self medication, etc.
  • Seriously… don’t freaking drink.
  • You really screwed up?  Fine.  Deal with it.  Own it.  NOW.  Therapy is RIDICULOUSLY expensive.
  • Do your homework.  Homework has the ability to increase your grades- thereby increasing scholarship odds.
  • Leave a flannel in your locker at all times (it was the 90’s after all).
  • Don’t believe rumors about you.
  • Seriously… just because people call you names or classify you as something… doesn’t make it true.
  • Don’t talk about other people.
  • Don’t date Peter Godfrey.
  • Don’t wig out when your dad changes his last name to Godfrey nearly 15 years later.
  • Just because you have cable doesn’t mean you should watch it all the time.
  • HBO at 3am is NEVER a good idea.
  • Learn to cook something other than eggs.
  • Mom and Dad broke up because they are messed up broken people, NOT because Dad was the bad guy.   Try and talk to Dad every once in a while will ya?
  • Don’t let Mom bad mouth Dad.  Stand up for him.
  • Stand up for anyone being belittled or bullied.
  • Don’t let Mom throw out that black sweater over the summer… it was awesome.
  • Don’t isolate yourself when you’re hurting.  Surround yourself with real friends.
  • In speaking of friends.  DON’T punch Theresa.  You will have a scar on your hand to remind you of what an angry immature person you were otherwise.
  • I know I went over it before, but if you MUST drink, DO NOT drink before your Junior English mid term… you will only get a B (but because you didn’t listen to my advice and do homework), you will fail the first semester and thus ruin your chances of graduating early.  So DO NOT DRINK.
  • What you should do – spend more time at the “library”.  I’m not condoning lying to Mom… but… get out of the house.  Be social.  Have fun.  Just don’t be stupid.
  • Try to spend some time with Jesus – just you and Him.  Develop a relationship aside from what you’re told is Truth.
  • Not all Christian music sucks.
  • Not all secular music is evil.
  • Just because someone likes rap, doesn’t disqualify them from being an awesome friend.
  • Learn to motivate yourself.  You live with people who are wallowing in their own junk… so figure out what you’ve gotta do to move on and do it.
Sincerely,
Your 32 year old self
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