as I walk

the journey to becoming me

Resolute

This whole New Year’s Resolution thing has really got me going… I’ve said it before- I’m not the resolution type.  I started to ask myself why.  Is it because I don’t want to fail?  Is it because I don’t want to do the same thing as everyone else?  Or is it because I’m genuinely content with the way that I’m living, the things that I do, and the habits that I’ve made for myself?  

I’m not quite sure what the exact answer is for me.  I know that I’ve made some great strides over the past 7 months and I’m moving in a positive direction- lost nearly 70 pounds (only 63 more until my goal weight), I’m making more of an effort to get out of my shell and actually talk to people, I’m getting a better handle on my budget (the less money you have the more crucial that becomes), I’m on a daily chronological Bible reading plan, I have money set aside for the express purpose of going to Korean coffee shops and restaurants to make some connections there, and I also have money set aside for a gym membership so I can get in biking shape for the (Lord willing) bike ride through NK in September.  So, these things are all awesome and all things that I’m super pumped about- but they aren’t there yet.  There will come a day (sooner than later, I’m sure) that the weight won’t keep dropping off, that I’ll find myself only able to put in $5 worth of gas instead of filling it up (okay, that actually happens more often than I’d like), that I just won’t want to read my Bible, that I’d rather stay in my warm room than walk Lawrence Ave or go to the gym.

I looked up the definition of resolute- “Marked by firm determination or character; Bold, steady”.  I’m going to need firm determination, I’m going to need to be bold to talk to people that I don’t know well (or at all), I’m going to need to be steady and consistent in my Bible reading and bike regimen.  Dagnab it, I need to be resolute.  

Maybe I don’t really want to because I just don’t want to hold myself accountable… Maybe I really hate being like the millions of Americans who make resolutions… Or maybe it’s too late to make a New Year’s Resolution… But I resolve to keep moving towards contentment in my life and to keep on keeping on.  

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