as I walk

the journey to becoming me

Pregnancy (of sorts)

I’m looking forward to the very real possibility of stepping foot onto the soil of a place that I have dreamed of so often.  In September, I have the opportunity to actually go to North Korea and ride my bike across the country.  I remember all the times at the gym on the exercise bike just pushing through imagining that I was there.  That could be reality.  

I have nine months to prepare for this journey- physically, financially, and spiritually.  Let’s call those three facets- trimesters.  I know that I can’t just make one of those facets a focus for that three month period as with a pregnancy there is continual growth and change happening throughout.

The first trimester of a pregnancy (as I can attest to by way of my sister who has two beautiful daughters) is typically marked with morning sickness and is the time frame where the baby’s brain, spinal cord, heart and other organs begin to form.  Legs and arms start to grow and by the end of the trimester, a face develops.  An intensely busy time- working on my visa application, making sure that I actually do have financial backing, finding airfare, pushing past that nausea by thinking of the outcome in September, getting my focus off of myself and onto the One who created me, spending more time in prayer and in my Bible- getting HIS vision for the outcome.  

The second trimester is a far easier time frame for the mother- morning sickness subsides, greater energy, and she can begin to feel her baby move.  The umbilical cord thickens to carry oxygen and nutrients to the baby.  I view this trimester as a major focus on the physical- which amazingly enough will be during the spring.  This is where I’ll be dusting off my bike, tweaking it up, and really working on getting in shape and building stamina for this journey.  Of course all the while, raising more support and drawing closer to God.

The third and final trimester has rapid growth of the baby and many many physical changes for the mother as she prepares to give birth (I so don’t want to talk about those things).  The home stretch- everything will be happening so very fast- that’s when I’ll need to truly stop and pray.  I will need to be in the right mindset for the journey.  I mean going across the world alone to a place where many people never even get to leave- that is definitely something that I need to be prepared for (not the “not leaving” part, but that feeling of isolation and fear).  

I’m looking forward to this pregnancy and I’m giving it to God- should something happen… I can always “try again”.


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